For My Kindred Spirit

It's hard when you are at the bottom of the barrel of despair, self loathing, self pity, and just all out depression to see that you do have people that love you in spite of yourself.

I have many people in my life that love me because they, well- .... have to. You know, my mom, my kids, my husband, my cousin, my aunt, my grandma- you get the idea. While I know that these people don't actually have to love me or even like me, I know without a doubt that they do. My family actually likes spending time with one another. We don't do huge family stuff all the time, but we love to sit and drink coffee and gossip on just any random day. It's nice to have that feeling always be there in the back of my mind.

There is one person who isn't blood related to me or made a lifetime commitment to me who I never seem to give enough credit to. I can talk to her for hours and she "gets me." She has had the same ups and downs as I have and there isn't a feeling, a moment, a horrible down time that she hasn't had herself and she will gladly pass on her wisdom and if by some chance she doesn’t know what I'm feeling or how to deal with some life crisis I have, she will Google her ass off and find the answer, no not just any answer, THE ANSWER that will calm my nerves, make me laugh, and make things seem right again. She is my mother in law.

I liked my mother in law from the moment I met her. Why? She smoked at that time (she has since quit but isn't one of those of mean non smokers) AND she smoked in her house. I was highly impressed because that told me right off the bat that she was one of "us" smokers. She was on the "cool" team. Now, I am not saying that smoking makes you cool, but I have found that those of us that do smoke do share a kindred spirit of sorts. It's an unspoken team connection us smokers have. But back to my story- my mother in law. Smoke. Cool. She was very down to earth but at the same time one of the smartest people I had ever met.

You know, we weren't suppose to like each other at first. She was from the North and us southerns aren't suppose to like people from the North ya know- you've seen Gone with the Wind, right? And here I was, didn't have a great job, had about a billion bills, a toddler AND was shacking up with her son. But she saw through all of that and liked me anyway. When my mother in law first met Autumn, she took Autumn in as her own from the start and never looked back. Autumn is HER grandchild no matter what DNA says. I think the day that she met Autumn, she went out and bought clothes, shoes, all kinds of play stuff, about a million books and "it was no big deal- the stuff just jumped in my cart at the store" she would say.

Her husband passed away when she had a 9 year old and an 11 year old to take care of AND her family was 24 hours away by car. She worked full time, got her Masters then eventually got her PhD. She has this amazing life story, but she doesn't see it. She doesn't think that she is half as amazing as I know that she is. I joke with her that if I ever got my PhD, I would have my own kids calling me Doctor, but she will have none of that.

I can't even find time to read a book and yet, she was a single mom back in the '80s working full time AND going to college to get her Masters. She had zero, none, nada handouts. She walked every single step by herself. After the death of her husband, she stayed her in our town- she didn't run back home. Now, I would have instantly ran as fast as I could back home, but she didn't. She stayed. Like I said, she walked every journey of her life- alone. I haven't a clue how she did it, but she did it and raised two of the best guys you will ever meet- one of which is my hubby, awwe.

The true testament to how awesome she is - is to know her children. Even if I wasn't married to one of them, I know that if I called either one of her kids at 2am because my car broke down or I was too drunk to drive or whatever the reason, they would come pick me up and that is always my test on how good of a person you are- would you pick me up in the middle of the night?

My mother in law makes sure my kids have the best and cutest clothes EVER. My mother in law made sure that Autumn had all kinds of fun stuff to do over the summer. My mother in law took my kids for two nights while I had my surgery AND brought me a goodie basket with my favorite magazines, Wafer Sticks and a "lucky plant" to make me feel like I was going to be ok because she knows that along with God, I believe in that stuff too. She always goes out of her way to make sure that me, my husband and our kids have the best holiday stuff-whatever the holiday is. I joke that I want a Wii for my birthday- if it can be done, my mother in law will make it happen. There isn't anything I can ask her that she won't "get on top of that."

I look at my mother in law as this amazing woman. She is open minded, smart, a go-getter, a great grandmother, a kick ass mom and the best mother in law ever in the history of mother in laws.

So, while I like to host and attend my own pity parties on occasion, I know that my mother in law is there for me, like really there for me. She doesn't do anything for recognition, like "Ooooh did you see what I bought the girls? You love it right? It cost me 5 million dollars! AND it's name brand!!" She is the kind of person that would spend 5 million dollars on clothes for the girls and simply set the bag down never to bring it up and then when you go to say, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! “she will reply, "Oh it was nothing, really it was nothing. I got everything on sale. Let me know if I need to take anything back."

I love my mother in law; I just thought you should know that.

When Paul and I were dating, I played this song on the jukebox at the bar we were at. He asked, "Did you play this song?" Well, I had. He said, "This is one of my mom's favorite songs." I think that was one of the first moments Paul knew that I was a keeper!