May of 2007 was probably the worst month of my life. Ok, well there this one time Autumn hit her head and I was sure she would die and then Emily had the MRSA thing earlier this year and that was pretty bad too and the moment my cousin told me that my grandpa had passed. But May 2007 stands out in my mind like no other....
Paul and I bought our house January 2007. We were struggling to make the bills, but we were making it. Then one day, Paul gets a call from the HR lady and he needs to go to a meeting with her and his boss. Not. Good.
To make a long story short, Paul was let go from his job.
We were just keeping our heads above water and NOW THIS?!?! Are you kidding me. What kind of sick joke was God playing on us?
I remember that moment so clearly, Paul walks in the door and I asked, "Did you get fired?" and his answer was, "Yes." We always joked about getting fired, but now it was real.
I begged him to beg for his job back at a pay cut, get demoted, something! Just. Get. Your. Job. Back! I knew that he would NEVER get another job with the pay or benefits that came with that job. We. Were. Doomed.
Well, Paul got another job and for the life of me I haven't a clue how we kept up with the payments of living and breathing. Then, I finally got the job I had wanted for three years which came with a bit of a pay increase, but as fate would have it, I now had to pay for the healthcare insurance which meant I was bringing home less money than before.
Like I said, I don't know how we did it, but we did. Then Paul got his current job. The pay wasn't as great but the hours were better and more steady and we knew that after going through what we just went through the last few months, we could make it no matter what his pay was.
However, through it all I was so pissed at Paul. I hated him. I resented him for losing his job. Making ME pay for the healthcare insurance. Making us live paycheck to paycheck and making me feel poor. I really couldn't stand to look at Paul for well over six months. Even when he got the job he has now, I was still pissed that he lost the other job.
Now I hated and I mean I hated where he worked before. I hated his hours, his bosses and just everything about the place. BUT, the job paid the bills and at the end of the day, that is what I thought was important.
I really can't tell you how much I really disliked Paul for a long time after May 2007. But life has a way of making the wounds heal and after many months, I finally started to breathe easier and I learned to be Paul's wife again. I slowly let go of the anger....
Then today I get a text from a friend whose husband still works at that company that let my husband go and the department that my husband worked in will no longer exist.
I guess God really did know what he was doing after all and it wasn't a sick joke, it was a blessing.
Today I am so thankful for Paul's job. It is so much better than that other one. His hours are better. Paul is happier than I have ever known him to be and things are great between us. The money thing still depresses me, but maybe we were just meant to always live paycheck to paycheck. Maybe we are those people? Who knows?
But I want to thank God at this very moment for May 2007. If not for everything happening the way it did, Paul and I would not be where we are today and I really like where we are.
I can't promise God that I will never doubt him again because he surely knows how to scare the hell out of me- no pun intended. But I hope I always remember that the nightmare that was May 2007 turned into something amazing.
I remember that moment so clearly, Paul walks in the door and I asked, "Did you get fired?" and his answer was, "Yes." We always joked about getting fired, but now it was real.
I begged him to beg for his job back at a pay cut, get demoted, something! Just. Get. Your. Job. Back! I knew that he would NEVER get another job with the pay or benefits that came with that job. We. Were. Doomed.
Well, Paul got another job and for the life of me I haven't a clue how we kept up with the payments of living and breathing. Then, I finally got the job I had wanted for three years which came with a bit of a pay increase, but as fate would have it, I now had to pay for the healthcare insurance which meant I was bringing home less money than before.
Like I said, I don't know how we did it, but we did. Then Paul got his current job. The pay wasn't as great but the hours were better and more steady and we knew that after going through what we just went through the last few months, we could make it no matter what his pay was.
However, through it all I was so pissed at Paul. I hated him. I resented him for losing his job. Making ME pay for the healthcare insurance. Making us live paycheck to paycheck and making me feel poor. I really couldn't stand to look at Paul for well over six months. Even when he got the job he has now, I was still pissed that he lost the other job.
Now I hated and I mean I hated where he worked before. I hated his hours, his bosses and just everything about the place. BUT, the job paid the bills and at the end of the day, that is what I thought was important.
I really can't tell you how much I really disliked Paul for a long time after May 2007. But life has a way of making the wounds heal and after many months, I finally started to breathe easier and I learned to be Paul's wife again. I slowly let go of the anger....
Then today I get a text from a friend whose husband still works at that company that let my husband go and the department that my husband worked in will no longer exist.
I guess God really did know what he was doing after all and it wasn't a sick joke, it was a blessing.
Today I am so thankful for Paul's job. It is so much better than that other one. His hours are better. Paul is happier than I have ever known him to be and things are great between us. The money thing still depresses me, but maybe we were just meant to always live paycheck to paycheck. Maybe we are those people? Who knows?
But I want to thank God at this very moment for May 2007. If not for everything happening the way it did, Paul and I would not be where we are today and I really like where we are.
I can't promise God that I will never doubt him again because he surely knows how to scare the hell out of me- no pun intended. But I hope I always remember that the nightmare that was May 2007 turned into something amazing.
Thank you God for .... everything.
XOXO Janelle
XOXO Janelle
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4 comments:
I thought for sure you were going to have the Garth video of "Unanswered Prayers".
The best thing about being married to your best friend is the fact that you can be downright pissed off at them for something of no fault of their own, and then when you're ready to quit being a baby about things, they forgive you and never stopped loving you. It always amazes me how that works.
Travis and I have a paycheck to paycheck household. As hard as we try to get things paid off, it just doesn't happen. I don't think I will ever be "ok" with it, but I'm learning to accept it.
I swear God has a wicked sense of humor and that one day he's going to say "Punk'd" to me!
Becky- Yes God does have a wicked sense of humor doesn't he? I am sure when you know the outcome of everything like he does it is easy to sit back and laugh knowing that all along things will be ok. Almost like watching a movie that gives away the ending in the first 5 minutes. I know that I'm glad he brought you and I together. That was pretty cool of him. Every once in a while he does throw a lifeline, LOL.
It sure makes you appreciate things more when you can look back on the trials that got you where you are now. Sometimes it's impossible to see that light at the end of the tunnel,, (that's why I carry a lighter,, hehee)
Lori- "a ligher" very cool and funny! Love it!!
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